ER visit

On the 23rd of December I went into the ER with what felt like my head cracking open. It was the worst pain I’ve ever had. My husband had to carry me out of the house and into the car. I had sunglasses on and my hood over my head because the light and sounds were awful. When we got there were not that many people there but we still had to wait. It felt like forever just to be seen. I was in so much pain that I was about to pass out. My husband went to triage people and said something and I got in not much time later. It seemed to be kid day at the ER which is the reason why it took so long. Kids come first and there was nothing I could do about it.

Finally in they gave me some pain meds and brought my pain down from a 10 to 7. Then after a little while they gave me more meds and I was able to walk a little and out the door. It was awful because my husband had practice for a concert for the holidays that he wasn’t to make. I apologized like I always do and of course he said there is no reason for to say sorry. He was my rock that day as he usually is but that day was a day he never thought would happen I think.

My husband and I decided for me to start the new medication and we are hoping for the best.

Feeling strange

I have been forgetting words, how to say things, mixing words and getting dizzy from time to time and just not feeling like myself. I think I need a nap right now.

Blog

I have been writing on here to give some of my insight of how M.S effects me and I have no idea if anyone reads them. I am no doing good. I am in pain a lot of time and having a 3 year old can be challenging and hard when it’s christmas time. We barely have enough money to rent let alone to buy gifts for family and the 2 little cousins.

I’ve been working on my book that has to do M.S and hopefully it will work out for us. I have been trying to make a difference in this family by providing money.

I also take pictures so that is also on my to do list to make money for the family. I just hope that something takes off. I’m tired of feeling like a burden to the entire family.

There are things that I hate about living with my aunt and uncle but right now we are really at our ends of how we live compared to how they live. Everything is so perfect upstairs, and we live in kind of the way we life downstairs.

We can’t put things on the walls and it’s alsmost like they parent us. We already have parents and I’m really not in the mood for new ones that are perfect.

I really just want to be myself and life how we always live. I’m tired of feeling like I’m walking on my titytoes. I want to walk as hard as I want damn it!!

This is not the life I had hoped but all I can do is just fucking wait and hope things get better.

Mediaction

So I get a few pills from a friends of mine and my husbands take a couple  but I can’t refill mine and we only have 1 and a half left and because I really needed them last time he said he gets this one because of that. I’m so pissed because I really needed them today and now I have nothings. What does he expect me to do. I went to see a doctor and he just wants to me do epidural shots. That’s not what seems to help. Actually it seems that I just don’t want to feel anything, and I don’t want him to take my pills.

I used them for my sore legs and it sucks that he doesn’t understand that!! I wish that he could just be a little more understanding that he doesn’t need them I do. I find it not fair. The pills that I got are for me not him. I have no else to get them from and I’m starting to think about medical marijuana.